


I'm Yours

by itsmorethanfine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fatherhood, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Naomi Being a Dick, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, it's literally one line sorry, mentions of alex/krissy, sam/jess isn't major sorry, smoking mention, wow there's a tag for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5668141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmorethanfine/pseuds/itsmorethanfine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel have a major bump in their relationship when Cas leaves him to return to his abusive mother. Dean blames himself for being emotionally unavailable. Can Dean pull himself together before Christmas is ruined?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the wonderful Darci <3 You're so amazing to me and you deserve a much better story than this. I hope your life is always bright and happy <3 You deserve so, so much and I love you.  
> P.S. This was supposed to be for your birthday, which was like three months ago basically. Sorry, I'm terrible at sticking to deadlines.

The wind blew through the already cold room, whispering through the curtains, but it didn’t make Dean feel any better. Yeah, sure, he liked the cold and he was used to it, but the even the snow outside was doing nothing to cheer him up.

It was Christmas Eve, and he was alone in his one bedroom apartment, heart heavy. He looked out the window drearily, the snow neatly piled and untouched.

If Cas was here, he would’ve grumbled when Dean would’ve begged him to come outside and make snow angels.

_“No, Dean.”_

_“Come on, Cas. You’re an angel, you should understand that! Let’s go, now come on!”_

And then Cas would’ve grumbled some more and pulled on his socks anyway. Because he’d promised to love Dean, in the same way that Dean had and still did. Except that one of them had broken their promises, and whose fault was that?

His. Like it always was.

He sighed, pulling his legs closer to his chest. The slideshow of memories from his entire life was filled with Cas: smiling, laughing, angry, scrunchy nose, blue eyes, tousled hair, nice butt… all of it.

But, he’d thrown it all away because he’d been so caught in the job that he’d failed to realize that their life wasn’t just things he’d wanted. Sure, he’d wanted to move all the way to Kansas, away from Sam and everything, just to be close to who he’d been as a child and his dream job with his husband, but he’d never realized that that would’ve meant Cas leaving everything behind.

The TV droned on in the background behind him, but Dean’s eyes were fixed on the photo album that he’d brought out. Cas in a tuxedo at their high school prom, Cas in his sweats and Dean’s AC/DC shirt, Cas carving a pumpkin, Cas wearing the gorgeous suit at the altar, Cas with tears in eyes, Cas with his wide, gummy smile, Cas, Cas, Cas, Cas.

The bottle of vodka next to the album was empty.

He was starting to sound pathetic, but then again that’s who he was.

A knock sounded on the door, bringing him out of his thoughts and just like that, his heart fell because it was probably Jody bringing him some pie for the holiday. She’d mentioned something about going to Florida for vacation with Alex, but he really didn’t remember it anymore.

He swung his legs off the couch and pulled his sweats up. Needed to look presentable. He wasn’t sure Jody knew about Cas leaving literally three days before Christmas, but he wasn’t sure he wanted her to know.

And sure enough, it was her.

But, she wasn’t her usual, snarky self. She had a sympathetic smile on her face and asked, “You need a hug?”

Dean nodded, and then the tears spilled all over his face again and he gripped her tightly, sobbing uncontrollably.

“It’s all my fault, Jody. I can’t believe I expected him to give up that much, and I never realized that he was so stressed. I mean, how could I not have noticed that? He’d started smoking again! God, I was so blind, and the worst husband ever and he’s never coming back and I don’t know what to do.”

Jody pulled herself out of his grip and stared at him. “Of course you know what to do, you numbnut. You know what you have to do.” She poked him in the chest. “You let him go, you bring him back. Sitting here and lamenting on your couch isn’t going to do jack squat for anyone. And now, if you really want him, you have to go get him back. It’s fucking Christmas, for Christ’s sake!”

Of course, Dean had thought about going all the way to Sacramento to bring him back, but he’d already started off on the wrong foot with Cas’ mom and he wasn’t about to endure the entire wrath of the Novak household during the holidays.

“B-but his Mom hates me and I promised her I wouldn’t hurt her son.”

Oh, boo hoo. Parents are supposed to hate their children’s significant others. You think I like that Krissy girl that Alex is dating? Hell no, that girl has got some damn attitude, I don’t know how her parents handle her. But, if she makes Alex happy, what am I supposed to do? Break it up? No, I just be angry by myself.”

Dean shook his head and wiped the tears off his cheeks. “No, it doesn’t work like that. And even if she’s okay with me, how’s Cas going to get back with me?”

“God, Dean! You won’t fucking know until you try, alright? Can you just grow some damn balls and get your husband back?”

He nodded this time. “Yeah, I’ll get Cas back.”

“Yeah, and you’ll fight for him no matter what, yeah?” Jody said, rubbing his shoulders.

“I will. If I leave now, I can make it by tomorrow, maybe,” he said, as he tried to do the math mentally in his head.

“What? No, you’re not driving all the way there and missing Christmas with him,” Jody said. “I got you tickets.”

“Tickets?” Dean asked. “What tickets?”

“Plane tickets. God, how much did you drink last night?” Jody asked. She stepped past him into the house and made her way down the messy hallway, which was only that way because Dean had been too tired to clean anything.

Dean shut the door behind him and jogged up to her. “Wait, wait, wait. Plane tickets? I don’t do the whole flying thing. Come on, Jodes, you know this.”

She picked up the bottle of vodka off the table and shook it at him. “I gave you guys this four days ago. You finished the whole thing, already?”

“It hasn’t exactly been easy, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“When did he leave?” Jody asked, eyes softening as she spotted the open photo album. “You two look so good in this one.”

It was the one picture from their honeymoon in Hawaii, Dean’s arms wrapped around Cas’ waist as he looked over his shoulder and Cas was kissing his cheek. Both of them were in their floral swimming trunks, the bright colored ones, and the beach was stretched in the skyline behind them.

It had been one of his favorite nights.

“He left about three nights ago. Or two, I don’t know. It feels like it’s been forever.”

“And you’re worried about getting on a plane?” Jody asked, cocking her head. “Really?”

*

He’d been on a constant panic attack mode the entire flight to California, which turned out to be a three and a half hour flight, shorter than most, but it had been the most harrowing experience of his life. Just like every other plane ride he’d been on (including the one to his own honeymoon).

Somehow he’d made his way out of the airport, as the slightly warmer Cali air hit him in the face and he breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t forgotten any of his luggage, which was only one overnight bag in the beginning, but then Jody had thrown in the “what if you take longer than a day to convince him” tangent and so, he’d packed in three more outfits.

It wasn’t until he got into a random taxi that he realized that he actually had no idea where Cas’ parents’ house was.

He’d been there, maybe once, during his conquest to win Cas’ hand in marriage. With some help from Cas, who had actually been there with him. But, it had been so long ago, and since Dean was the way he was, Cas’ family hadn’t exactly wanted to invite him to family dinners.

“Hey, buddy?” Dean asked, tapping the taxi driver on the shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know where the Novaks live?” he asked, crossing his fingers. Cas’ parents were bigshots, which was another reason Cas had been alienated from them. Their only son, off to live with a man who only had _mechanic_ on his job resume.

The taxi driver threw his head back and laughed. “And what business does a clearly hungover human being such as you want with a bunch of stuck up pricks like them?”

“I’m married to the youngest kid,” he said, indignantly.

“What, no shit?” he gasped, turning around in his seat. “You’re married to Castiel?”

“Yeah, why? I thought everyone already knew he was gay.” The biggest reason Cas didn’t go back to see his parents.

“Well, yeah, we all know, but seeing you in person is a completely different thing,” he said, his creepy gaze making Dean squirm. “Huge deal wanting to isolate yourself from your family. That shit makes news.”

“Just take me to their house, alright? And stop being fucking creepy.”

“Yessir.”

 

He thought about everything he was gonna say throughout the ride.

_“Mrs. Novak, I know I’m a shit person, but I promise I won’t fuck it up again—no, less swearing—I know I’m not a very good person and that your son deserves better than a piece of shit—fuck, not that—I know your son deserves a better husband than me, and I promise I’ll do better in the future and I hope you’ll give me one more chance.”_

Something along those lines would work, and he didn’t even have to lie. He was already confident in the dumbass that he was.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Dean jumped. Maybe, it was Cas.

“Hello?” he answered, without bothering to look at the call ID.

“Dean?” Sam’s familiar voice floated through the speaker. “You’re in California?”

“What, who told you that?” Dean asked, as he rubbed his face. He really didn’t want to drag another person through his muck, especially Sam, since the kid had been in his muck all his life, and he’d just got out with his perfect life with Jess and here Dean was again, about to fuck it up.

“Jody told me. But, never mind, what are you doing here? You could’ve told me and I would’ve come to pick you up at the airport!”

“Sam, look. I would love to come see you, but I’m kind of on a time crunch here, so, can I talk to you later?”

Before Sam could reply, the taxi driver piped up. “Novak household, here we are.”

“You’re at Cas’ parents’ house, why?” Sam blurted.

“Jesus Chr—that’s not what I’m here, it’s not what it looks like. Cas left about two days ago because he got mad at me and I’m here tryna get him back, so I gotta go, Sam.”

“ _What_? Why did he leave?”

“Later, Sam!” Dean yelled into the phone because Christ, that kid could never shut up. “How much is it?”

“Sixty-five dollars,” the driver said, tapping the little screen with the money details on it.

“Sixty-five? What the fuck, man?”

“Fine, you can give me sixty,” he said, rolling his eyes, and Dean handed him a wad of twenties, before hopping out of the car with his luggage.

The house had seemed big the first time he’d been here, but it seemed even bigger now that he was here under these circumstances. Cas told him the house was about seven thousand square feet, which Dean could only imagine, having lived in houses as small as four hundred square feet when he’d been younger.

The gate was about eight feet tall and a gleaming white. The house visible through the bars was nothing short of a mansion. He took a deep breath and pressed the button for the intercom.

“Novak household,” came a lady’s voice.

“Hi, I’m here to see Castiel?” Dean asked. There was a pebble on the ground that he stared at, which reminded him of Cas’ painted rock collection back home, which seemed so far away now.

“Mr. Novak hasn’t lived here in years,” she said, her tone suddenly taking on a defensive attitude. Dean couldn’t blame her. He would’ve, too.

“Yeah, but he’s here right now, isn’t he?”

He didn’t know how he could’ve explained it, but he just knew that his husband was back in the house that he grew up in. He knew it.

“Who is this? Castiel doesn’t want any visitors.”

“It’s Dean Winchester? His husband. I know he doesn’t want to see me right now, but I want to apologize and say I’m sorry.”

More silence followed.

“Look, ma’am. I need to see him. It’s Christmas, can you please let me do this?”

There was some more silence and Dean was assessing how to get over the ginormous fence, when suddenly a click sounded and the gate opened. Unable to believe his luck, Dean rushed inside, heart thudding like crazy.

The long driveway made Dean feel smaller and smaller with every step he took. It didn’t help that there were trees that followed him all the way up to the front door. As he spotted the mansion in sight, he hurried up and walked up the huge steps up to the front. He looked around, spotting at least six cars parked out front around a huge fountain with a sculpture of a mermaid in the middle. She looked annoyingly happy.

He shook his head, bringing himself back to reality and knocked on the huge door.

He waited for a few minutes, before reaching over to ring the doorbell. But, just as he was about to press it, the door swung open, and a slightly older woman, with huge pearls around her neck stood in front of him. Her expression said “don’t fuck with me” and Dean was immediately intimidated, but he straightened and smiled at her.

She looked older than Dean remembered, but he’d recognize that expression of irritation and condescension anywhere. Naomi Novak stood in front of him, in a dark blue gown that had a high collar that accentuated her dark brown hair, which was styled up as always.

“Hello Mrs. Novak, pleasure to see you as always,” he said, holding up his hand.

She didn’t take it, but her eyes darted at them really quickly, before the fixed on his eyes. The way she stared seemed to bore holes in his soul.

“What are you doing here?”

He let his hand slide back down and said, “To bring Cas back home.”

“He didn’t want you,” she snarled. “He’s finally come to his senses and gotten over that stupid gay phase of his.”

“It’s not a--,” Dean started, but he knew better. “I know, I just want to apologize.”

“And what? Take him back with you?” she said, as she stepped closer, her high heels clicking against the marble floor. “I don’t think so. I’m not letting my child getting lost like the last time he was when he met you!”

“I want to talk to him. You can’t keep him away from me forever. I’ll just find another way back,” Dean said. Yeah, Naomi was a scary woman, but there was no way in hell that he was giving up Cas for someone like her.

He didn’t know whether he was imagining it, but a look of slight fear crossed her face. Maybe she _did_ know that Dean would have done anything for Cas.

And still would go to extreme lengths for Cas, no matter what.

“You can have five minutes with him,” she said, barely moving as she stepped aside to let Dean inside.

He wasn’t sure he could take in the huge mansion all at once, but he decided to wait until after he saw Cas. A huge marble staircase wound its way to the top, a cliché chandelier hung from the ceiling. It was literally straight out of a movie.

He rushed up the staircase, two at a time, not even caring that his boots were probably muddy because his entire being was _Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas_ the entire time. He had no idea where Cas’ room was, but he was going to find it.

Knowing Cas, it probably wasn’t the very first door; the guy likes his privacy and especially with the family he had, Dean was sure Cas would live as far away from everything as possible. He made his way down the long hallway to his right, before stopping short.

As soon as they’d moved into their new house, Cas had picked the room to the left, even though the room to the right was a lot bigger and had the huge windows he liked. It wasn’t that he’d debated with Dean or anything, it seemed like something he’d do out of habit.

Dean turned around and headed down the hallway on the left. He passed at least four rooms on his way to the end, where he spotted a bust of someone he didn’t know sitting at the very end in the middle of two doors, one of them with the words “Anna Novak” and the other “Castiel Novak” on them.

His heart skipped a beat as he raised his hand to knock on the door. What if Cas wouldn’t take him back? What if Cas thought he was an asshole?

What if Cas _hated_ him?

The negative thoughts weren’t enough to stop Dean from knocking, but it was enough to dissociate himself from reality and he didn’t even realize he’d knocked, until he heard his knuckles tap against the wood.

“Yes? Come in!” sounded Cas’ voice and Dean nearly passed out with relief.

He opened the door and an immediate waft of _Cas_ overwhelmed him and Dean couldn’t help the sting of tears in his eyes. He’d been so stupid.

Of course, Cas would’ve wanted to stay in California even though he hated his family. It was his home after all.

Of course Dean would assume that Cas would do anything for him just because he would do the same. But he was Dean: no one tried their best with him, and if he wanted people to stay, it was up to him to keep trying.

“Cas?”

Cas was sitting at his desk, facing the window when suddenly, he tensed.

Usually, Dean would’ve gone over to massage his shoulders and Cas would’ve complained about his cold fingers and they’d find a blanket to keep each other warm. Sometimes it involved hot chocolate and marshmallows (four for Cas and eighteen for Dean).

Cas turned around, his eyes wide with confusion but a little bit of relief on the side, too. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days, his hair was disheveled, eyes red and he had slight stubble.

“Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.”

He wasn’t sure when he was supposed to start apologizing, but before he could form his thoughts, Cas interrupted him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean blurted. “I can’t do this without you and I know you leaving caused you so much pain and I’m so sorry I didn’t even notice that before. And I’m really sorry I couldn’t see it and I was so self-absorbed.”

Cas blinked slowly, trying to process Dean’s apology. Dean, meanwhile, had a billion thoughts racing through his mind.

“Dean, I think you should go.”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat and not in the good way. “No, what? No, I’m here to take you back. I know I fucked up but it’s because it’s what I do, Cas. But, I’m sorry. You of all people should know that.”

Cas stayed silent, so Dean continued, unsure of what else to do. He walked up closer, his heart thudding crazier than it had on their first date, almost eight years ago.

“Cas, you mean the world to me and I know asking you to move across the country with me was a huge step and I never asked you if you were okay with it, and that’s on me. But, buddy, you gotta believe me when I say I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

They were both teary-eyed at this point, but Cas still looked just as beautiful as he had the first time Dean had seen him the night he’d realized he’d had a crush on him.

“That’s not why I left, Dean. You really think my family left anything for me to come back to them?”

“Then why’d you leave?”

Cas reached for Dean’s hand, and he took it. It was soft and warm and _home_.

“You were leaving me. You were growing apart. I sensed that you’d be a part of your job as soon as we were leaving Stanford, but I didn’t think it would be that fast.”

“I know and I’m sorry, angel. I know I shouldn’t have been so wrapped up in my work.”

“No, it wasn’t that. You were so stressed out and you barely saw anything but work. And I tried telling you about my day, but you were too stressed to care. I’m not saying you didn’t, just that you weren’t able to.”

Dean took a deep breath and wiped off the tears dripping down his chin with his sleeve. “I promise you that I will always put you before my job. I promise now and I promise to keep that promise.”

“I called Anna the night you came home drunk,” Cas said, softly. And Dean shuddered, as he recalled that night. He’d been way in over his head, wondering whether he was worth anything. He’d never really understood how someone as pure as Cas would give up everything for a worthless piece of shit like him. Yes, Cas tried his damn hardest to make sure that Dean was loved, but Dean would always bring him down. He always would, just like he had now.

“She said that I should leave you,” Cas whispered. “She said you weren’t worth it, but I tried to convince her that you were.”

“I’m not, Cas,” Dean said. It was true, he wasn’t worth it. “I’m not worth it, yeah, but I love you, Castiel Novak and I promise to always try my hardest to keep you by my side, okay?”

“Shut up,” Cas said, putting a finger on Dean’s lips. “You’re worth the whole world, darling. I just wasn’t strong enough to take it. You deserve someone who can be there for you.”

“What?” Dean asked in confusion, brushing away Cas’ hand. “You’re always there for me, what the heck are you thinking? You really think you’re not enough for me?”

Cas hesitated, but he nodded slowly.

Dean gripped Cas’ hands tighter in his. If only Cas would feel the amount of gratitude that Dean had for him, the love, the sense of belonging. “You’re my whole world, Cas. If there’s anyone who doesn’t deserve this beautiful relationship, it’s me. Fuck, Cas, I messed up so bad. I drove you back to the one place in your life you hate.”

“No, no,” Cas said, running his hand down Dean’s cheek. “I came here of my own accord. It was my choice.”

“Yeah, but obviously I hurt you enough to make you want to go back.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed the tip of ears and Dean melted. He’d gone so long without having Cas’ strong hands hold him up, he couldn’t even believe he hadn’t flown down to California earlier.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry, please come back.”

Cas pulled away, eyes wet with tears. “You didn’t hurt me, okay? I love you and no matter what, things will go wrong but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. Sometimes these emotions are too complex for me to deal with so I lash out at the wrong person. It’s not your fault, okay?”

Dean nodded. “So, you’ll come back, right?”

Cas smiled a soft smile, tears spilling down his cheeks. “Yes, I will. I’m so sorry I left when you needed me the most.”

Dean let out a heavy breath. “No, I’m sorry for being so horrible that I drove you away.”

They both chuckled through the tears and the emotions that were circling the air around them were too much to handle. It was all so good and relieving and warm and happy all at the same time and Dean couldn’t recall the last time he’d ever felt so many positive things in his entire life.

Cas pulled him into a deep kiss, the kind that they usually had right after Dean drove them home after a long road trip, the kind after a particularly busy day of moving around, the kind that came after Cas had a nightmare the night before, the beautiful kind, the kind that made Dean feel his entire body from his hair to the tips of his toes.

Everything. It was always everything with Cas.

His whole world.

Dean pulled away, eyes softly fluttering open. “Hey, what about your mom?”

“Oh, god,” Cas said, closing his eyes again. “I totally forgot about her.”

“Hey, she can’t keep you here if you don’t want to be here,” Dean said, thumbing the tears off Cas’ cheek.

“Yeah, I know. But, she’d told me that you would break my heart and that I’d come crawling back to her sooner or later. And that’s exactly what I did and I know I should’ve gone to Balthazar’s or Gabe’s or something like that, but I really wanted to see Anna.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dean said, feeling slightly guilty. “We’ll always put each other before everything, okay? You never have to come back here again. I promise I’ll treat you better.”

Cas smiled. “I know you will, Dean. I promise I won’t leave you either.”

“Where’s Anna? You wanna say goodbye to her, right? Have you packed? Let’s get out of here, not another goddamn minute, not under my watch,” Dean said, slipping his fingers through Cas’, as he gave his hands a tiny squeeze.

“Yeah, she’s at class right now. Can we stop by there?”

“Of course,” Dean said, kissing the top of Cas’ head.

As Cas threw the clothes that were right in front of him into the small bag he’d come with, a horribly familiar voice interrupted them.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Cas took a deep breath and turned around, hands still firmly in Dean’s grasp. “Home, mother. With Dean, who cares about me more than you ever have.”

“Castiel, look at him,” Naomi said. “He’s the reason you cried yourself to sleep so many nights in a row. When are you going to accept the fact that he’s only going to hurt you again?”

“It was my fault too,” Cas said defensively. “It’s not all on Dean. I was scared and I never gave us a chance.”

“Castiel,” she implored. “Please think about this.”

“I have thought about it,” he said and Dean felt like the ground shook a little. He’d heard a lot of things about the hostility of Cas’ parents, but he’d never actually experienced it in person since even when they were getting married, they’d run away together, without anyone’s permission. In fact, the only people that were at their wedding were Sam, Jess, Anna, Gabe and Charlie.

There was too much weighing them down, but Dean had already made up his mind to be with Cas and nothing was going to change that, not even Cas’ family.

Cas’ dad hadn’t talked to him for almost fifteen years and there was no way in hell he was suddenly going to talk to his son when he was marrying another guy. Cas’ mom, Naomi, had just been furious when she’d found out. And she hadn’t said a single word to Cas until Thanksgiving dinner when she’d marched over to their house and yelled some crazy things at them.

It had taken a long while for Cas to get over it. And Dean had tried his hardest, which is why it had him feel like shit that he’d left Cas in such a helpless place that he’d had to go home to deal with it properly.

“I swear,” Naomi said, breaking into Dean’s thoughts. And when she spoke, her voice shook, “If you come crawling back to me after he breaks your heart, I’m never going to take you back. Never.”

She looked livid, but her voice was eerily calm and Dean felt little goosebumps on his arm and Cas gripped his hand tighter. He rubbed soothing circles into skin that he hoped Cas would notice.

“Don’t you see that the problem with this isn’t Dean or me?” Cas asked, as he stepped closer. “The problem is that you always put your insecurities before my happiness.”

Naomi took a slight step back, the realization that Cas was going to leave whether she liked it or not dawned on her face but she made no move to apologize or even step aside to let them pass.

Cas grabbed whatever he’d thrown into his little bag in one hand, gripped Dean’s hand tighter with the other. And with that, he pushed past her, not even caring as he hit his shoulder against the doorframe as he passed. Within minutes, before Dean could really process any of it, they were out the front door into the long driveway.

Dean didn’t dare to say anything because he’d never seen Cas so frustrated in his life, so he just walked alongside him.

They’d been walking for about fifteen minutes, when Dean finally gathered up his courage to ask him, “Hey Cas, do you want me to carry that bag for you?”

And that’s when Cas finally slowed to a stop and turned towards him. “I just made the biggest mistake of my life, Dean.”

“What?” he asked. “No, Cas. Your mom didn’t want the best for you because you’re the only one who knows what you want most times and she wasn’t--”

“Not that, Dean,” Cas said. He dropped the bag onto the dusty shoulder of the road and took both of Dean’s hands into his own. “I left you and I shouldn’t have.”

“Cas, we’ve already talked about this and besides, that was on me, too. Don’t blame yourself.”

“No, it’s because I wasn’t strong enough and I should’ve stood up for myself and for you and I didn’t do that.”

“Yeah I didn’t fight for you to stay either, did I?” Dean asked, shrugging. It was a mistake that the both of them were responsible for and neither could be blamed.

Cas smiled. “We’re both such shit people.”

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “No wonder we’re together, huh?”

Cas squeezed Dean’s in his and said, “I love you.”

“Me too, Cas,” Dean said, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his temple. “Let’s go find your sister and get the hell out of here and go home, okay?”

“Home,” Cas hummed. “I like the sound of that. Merry Christmas, love.”  

“Merry Christmas.”


	2. Epilogue

Dean wasn’t sure his heart could stay still when he saw Cas walk down the aisle, his blue eyes bright and striking from across the room. He looked just as beautiful as he had when they’d gotten married the first time around.

And no, they didn’t break up. In fact, it had been years since they’d fought. The last fight they’d had had been life changing and here they were, renewing their vows after being married for about six years.

Dean quit his job at the garage, realizing that the only reason he even needed a job was because he had a husband who loved him more than anything in the world. Cas started talking about his feelings more often, telling Dean when something was bothering him, which was apparently every five seconds now, according to Dean ( _kidding!_ ).

In fact, the only thing that seemed to shut Cas up was caring for the latest addition to their family, little Sirius, the darkest Labrador in the pet store. Cas had fallen in love with his bright blue eyes immediately and Dean knew that now he’d be second in line to his husband’s affection.

Money didn’t grow on trees unfortunately. So, Dean eventually found a love for teaching, going back to school to get a degree to educate the younger masses and kindergarten that he was teaching had the most adorable kids, year after year.

And Cas’ career as an artist had really taken off since he’d put more time into his work, claiming that he now had a reason to. The cigarettes had disappeared forever.

Sam and Jess, who was now pregnant, were at the wedding as were Gabriel and Anna, without whom the ceremony would be incomplete.

As for the rest of Castiel’s family, they couldn’t care less about what newfangled “phase” that their son was going through now. It had been years since they’d talked. And even for someone like Dean who thought that family always came first, he knew that family would never cut off all contact because they didn’t agree with something that was a part of their son’s identity.

Besides, he was Cas’ family. And Cas was his. And that’s all they really needed.

“Married again, Dean?” Sam asked, nudging him as they walked into the dining hall together. Nothing too elaborate, but Dean wasn’t sure he could handle being away from all that delicious pie (there was _seven_ different varieties, come _on_ ). “Always thought you’d be married twice.”

“Yeah, to the same cutie,” Dean said, nudging him back. “Totally. How’s fatherhood so far?”

Sam pursed his lips into his usual bitchface and rolled his eyes. “Jess hasn’t even had the baby, Dean. I’m not a father yet.”

“Sam, you’re basically a dad right now,” Dean said. “I mean, those last three months are gonna go by so fast, like whoosh,” he said as he raced his hand through the air like a jet.

“And you’d know that because of the plethora of children you have,” Sam deadpanned.

“No, but I’ve been reading.”

“You read?” Sam joked, dodging as Dean tried to poke him in the ribs.

“Yeah, asshole, I read. And I was thinking of trying out the whole having a baby thing, you know? With Cas? I mean, I’d still have to ask him about it, but--” Dean broke off when he realized that his brother wasn’t anywhere next to him.

He turned around and saw Sam stopped dead in the middle of the floor, mouth hanging open. “ _What_?”

Dean pressed a finger to his lip and hissed at him. “Can you just fucking keep it down? Jesus Christ, what are you? Five?”

“But you want children?” Sam asked, his eyes wide. “I didn’t think you’d ever want that!”

“I do. I want some little punks running around the house, you know? Drive ‘em to soccer or whatever they wanted to do. Not saying they gotta play soccer, those kids can do whatever they want to. But, someone to pass on my legacy to, right?” He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he said it.

Sam bumped his shoulder against his. “That’s so out of character, but if you want kids, I’m with you on it. Like for anything, alright?”

“Thanks,” Dean replied, nudging him back. “And your kid. I better be Godfather, asshole. I’m gonna love that child so much.”

“You will be, jerk.”

“Bitch?” he retorted instantly and they both burst out laughing.

“What are you two laughing about?” came Cas’ familiar voice, and once again Dean’s breath caught, like it always did when he looked at his husband.

“Nothing,” Sam said when Dean had lost all sense of coherency because it was real.

What they had was real. And Dean could take it a step further if he could just open his mouth and ask him what was on his mind. But it was a huge step and what if Cas wasn’t ready for any of it?

“Jess needs me, I’ll be right back,” Sam said, not so subtly, before expertly making his way towards the dessert table instead of his pregnant wife.

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked, but before Dean could respond, the speakers above them started playing _I’m Yours_ by Jason Mraz and they both looked at each other, eyes shining.

“Babe, it’s our song,” Dean said, holding out his hand. It was a sign, a sign from the universe that no matter what was going to happen in the future, Cas would always stick with him. Their love would always be timeless.

Cas took his hand and they both half danced, half walked to the middle of the floor, fingers laced together.

“Hey, I have a question,” Dean said, his heart thudding. It was either now or never.

And he picked now.

“What is it?” Cas asked, his blue eyes somehow shinier than they generally were. “You looked slightly preoccupied when I saw you taking to Sam.”

“Do you want to have kids, Cas?” Dean blurted. “Obviously, we need to talk about whether we want to adopt or whether we want to have one and what kids need and--” he broke off.

And the expression on Cas’ face was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. His face had gone all soft and his eyes were wide with something positive that Dean couldn’t quite figure what it was, but his heart was singing.

The music was still playing above them, but everyone around them had vanished: the people, the floor, everything. It was just the two of them, like they’d started out.

Cas took a deep breath and said, “Yes, I would love to have kids with you, Dean Winchester.”

Dean let out a relieved laugh, throwing his head back and laughing a little louder. He was going to have a family.

And it was going to be his own, with his favorite person in the whole world.

Cas pulled him closer, before leaning over and pressing his lips against Dean’s and the whole world was exploding into color, and Dean was so glad he’d stood his ground and fought for the man he’d leave everything behind.

Underneath all the surprise and love on Cas’ face, there was a still a trace of that young boy that Dean had fallen in love with.

“You going to be dads?” Sam’s voice broke into their thoughts. He was dancing beside them, Jess in his arms, both of them wearing identical big smiles.

Dean bit his lip, smiling, afraid that his face was going to break into two with how wide he was smiling. He looked over at Cas, who smiled his big, gummy smile at him and said, “Yeah, we’re going to be dads.”

“God, you both are so cute, you should get married again,” Jess said, groaning, as she leaned into Sam’s embrace.

Cas laughed and looked at Dean again. “I’d marry this man a thousand times over, if I could.”

Dean’s heart sang. Life was worth it, he’d discovered. He’d come a long way since that lonely Christmas and for the first time in a long time, he was… happy.


End file.
